So, for 52 years the world has been one way, and now it's another.
What does this mean? It should be some sort of revolution in my thinking. But mostly I'm just thinking now what?
Sometimes I'm not even sure the diagnosis is correct. Everybody of my age is a bit forgetful, I'm a busy person, of course I get things muddled .... but then I read something about ADD that I have never told anyone and it applies directly to me - like the relief of being able to focus on something and not have to slam the breaks on and change to something else. Shifting focus is extremely difficult.
I'm on ritalin, and all it seems to do is give me great bursts of energy, followed by a massive come down. And my life is out of control. Before I expended a lot of energy keeping organised, now it's like - What the hey. Keeping organised is really exhausting and I'm not going to bother.
Doesn't help that my prayer minister has been laid up with a heart by pass and I'm trying to finish two theology papers. ADDers self-soothe by organising around obsessions. Theology study is probably a better obsession than most things.
I need specialist counselling and to get the drug thing sorted out. Doesn't help that some people are anti-ritalin and were horrified I was taking it. So add that to my anxieties why don't you?
